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A bit less opulence. Still very pretty jlleskelf. A chubby homosexual with irritating facial hair got me a baguette, while two waitresses stood behind the counter gossiping and pulling a face every time Nude women. swinging in tirgu mures customer wanted to be served. It was alright, I suppose, but I couldn't help noticing that my tea cost twice as much as the one in Blackpool. The rain finally gave up so I headed out of town. My next slus was out in the countryside, so for the first time that day I turned away from the coast. I passed through quiet streets, past a playground with a rocket shaped climbing frame and rope swings remember when just a slide was the most exciting thing ever?

I've never been in one of these stores, Fuc, since it was advertising an ullekself Cafe" on site and had an attached garden centre, I'm not sure I'd be welcome. Not without a Fkck check first. How could I not? I'm sure it's not like this in Lytham though. Passing up the opportunity to find many wluts to have a good uloeskelf, I carried on. Soon I'd left Lytham behind and I was out in the countryside. I have a real fear of walking beside the road in the country. I don't like places where there aren't pavements. Walking in the road always makes me anxious, even if I know I'm following the country code and I'm perfectly within my rights.

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They're the ones with attitude, the ones who are listening to a Clarkson audiobook, the ones who are saying Quake with fear at my mighty four-wheeled progress, pathetic biped! Feel my superiority at manhandling this machine with skill and speeding past your limited progress! On the plus side, I was getting exercise and fresh air, so they'll probably die before me. I couldn't really sense where I was in relation to the railway line - it was somewhere over there, as far as I could work out, but I couldn't see any sign of it.

I passed over a canal, and past the local tip, which the council had thoughtfully put right next to a caravan park. Apparently plots for holiday lets were available; can't say I'm surprised. As any schoolboy knows, a group of crows is called a murder. This is one of those facts I learnt when I was little because a I had a fondness for the macabre and b I liked knowing more than everyone else. I watched a murder now, rising and falling over a cropped field; they rested on the ground then, at some unseen signal, all the crows rose up into the air, swirled around one another, then landed a few metres away. It was like watching a very anxious sandstorm.

Fortunately, the crows decided not to attack me. My gory death at their pecking beaks will have to wait for another day. The only wildlife to surprise me that day was a particularly nosy cow, who thrust her face through a gap in the hedge as I approached. They are dumb as a box of hair, but they have a simple charm and unthreatening personality that I'm fond of. My great uncles farmed cows, and I used to like to pat and stroke them. Then eat a steak. I ran my hand of the muzzle of the cow and, predictably, it let me without much protest. As I said, stupid. Actually that all sounded like I have some weird bovine fetish.

My next station was Moss Side; not the dodgy area of Manchester, thankfully. This was a tiny country station by a level crossing, just a platform in the middle of nowhere. I took a seat on the platform and listened to the peace. What actually happened was that Northern Rail decided to interrupt my rural idyll with regular announcements over the loudspeaker. All our stations are covered by CCTV Yes, one of these announcements told me my train was on the way, but apart from that, it was a stream of noise pollution. In the near dead-silence of an Autumn afternoon, it was all you could hear.

The locals must find it incredibly annoying, hour after hour of the same repetitive, booming voices. Unsurprisingly I was the only person to board. I settled in on the Pacer for the trip, choosing a seat right at the back - I was getting off at the next station, anyway. Across from me was a woman who was staring intently out the window. She was sat on one of the "sideways" seats, where you can store your bike, and she seemed to be incapable of closing her legs. Thankfully her skirt was past her knees or it would have been like a very low budget remake of Basic Instinct. As the train started up she started to sing, quietly, under her breath. At first I just thought she was mouthing, but then I realised I could just about hear her voice under the train noise - it was something about Jesus.

I have no objection to people having a faith, and wanting to praise Jesus in their own way. But when a spreadlegged woman with a tight Croydon facelift is murmuring the Lord's name, you start to get unnerved. Especially when the train stopped for one of those random reasons in the middle of nowhere and she fixed her eyes on me. It's a lovely little station. Again, some care and attention's been devoted to it and some moneyso there's a nice covered set of steps, and a clean and tidy ticket hall. This was the sort of station building that I'd have thought Lytham could get away with, instead of that epic piece of architecture.

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